In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

(via likealeafonabreeze)


buttcarrot:

shaniatween:

Girls reenacting boy selfies

second to last has the face spot-fucking-on

(via theonqreyjoy)


thewearysavantponders:

purple skeleton going the extra mile.

thewearysavantponders:

purple skeleton going the extra mile.

(via barakuddles)


wobbleinthehox:

apparently i’m not enthusiastic enough about satan for google 

wobbleinthehox:

apparently i’m not enthusiastic enough about satan for google 

(via layschlps)


nibit:

420 is so close I can almost taste all the bad jokes I’ll have to weed through

(via barakuddles)


asmilinggoddess:

the year is 2014 AD. the human race has existed for over 200,000 years. men still think women pee out of the vagina.

(via barakuddles)


bethrevis:

you could kill a man in any of these dresses, and pretty sure no jury would convict you. those are killing-men dresses, that’s what i’m saying

(via ohmygordh)


gayleaf:

you’re not allowed to wear a cotton t-shirt unless you’re a true fan! do you go to the fields and look at it? do you appreciate the agricultural implications of a gigantic cotton industry? do you understand the harvesting process? name 5 cotton harvesting machines. didn’t think so

(via pizza)



(via teenytigress)


thatguyprince:

canadianslut:

I wish my name was Zoe so I could introduce myself like thisimage

SHE WILL NEVER BE PABLO

(via pizza)


france: ten
france: twenty
france: thirty
france: forty
france: fifty
france: sixty
france:
france:
france: sixty ten
world: france what are you do—
france: four twenties
world: france stop it
france: four twenties ten
world: france that doesn't even make any sense
france:
france:
france:
world:
france:
world:
france: hundred.

vvheaties:

thats the most british sentence i’ve ever read 

vvheaties:

thats the most british sentence i’ve ever read 

(via delightfullyillegal)